Baru-baru ni Xiet ada dapat soalan daripada seorang rakan maya yg belum pernah Xiet jumpa secara live. Sister ni ada tanya satu soalan yang Xiet rasa menarik dan terpanggil untuk berkongsi soalan dan jawapannya di sini... Erm, kalau korang ada tambahan jawapan or komen or idea or pape je lah, sila lah jgn malu utk share ye.
As you know, I was a part time model and now still working in the entertainment industry. I have great interest in changing my appearance, particularly on covering my hair. The thing is I’m not very sure of the decision I’m making and it changes periodically. I’d tried wearing the veil but my friends laugh at me and criticized my passé look, as that’s what they claimed. I wish I am like my sister, who’d converted later but is more knowledgeable and stronger than me…. I need your opinion Sis.
Pardon my poor English, but I hope you can still understand my points (^_^)
I understand your situation in which wearing the hijab (veil) is quite wacky in your surroundings. Having the intention to wearing the hijab is a good thing already. It means you have Imaan (faith) in your heart. Alhamdulillah Sis, Allah has given His Guidance upon you. You are as strong as your sister, and both of you are strong in your own respective ways.
What and How to cover?
Allah the Almighty has taught us the way to covering our body. As stated in the Al-Quran:
"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts from sin and not show of their adornment except only that which is apparent, and draw their head covers over their necks and bosoms and not reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women (i.e., their sisters in Islam), or their female slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants free of physical desires, or small children who have no sense of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah altogether, O you Believers, in order that you may attain success” [An-Nur, 24:31]
As Muslim Women, we can wear any clothes, as long as it’s in accordance to what Allah has said in the Quran. So Sis, it’s time to unleash you creativity! You can still look gorgeous though you wear saggy dress and cover your head and bosom.
The cloth of Taqwaa
In Islam, we are not judged by gender, race, and clothes. Allah judges us by Taqwa. The best clothes are the ones which portray our modesty and not for showing off purposes. I love to share one beautiful Hadeeth, narrated by Umar Al-Khattab, from Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h
"Actions are (judged) by motives (niyyah), so each man will have what he intended. Thus, he whose migration (hijrah) was to Allah and His Messenger, his migration is to Allah and His Messenger; but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]
By all means, they must compliance with the Islamic requirement and jurisprudence (Sharee’ah). As long as it is congruent with the sharee’ah perspective, there is no restriction on what kind of fashion we want to choose for ourselves.
I am flabbergasted by the modern muslim women whom have great taste in fashion, yet resolutely uphold their belief and principle with no compromise. You can get inspiration from the bohemian style (it’s my favourite), Arabian fashion, or even vintage! Those modes (and a lot more) can be compatible with the hijab. You can even create your own style. Well, apparently you know fashion far better than me right? Right (",). Anyway, some of your present clothes may suitable to be wear with the hijab so you don’t have to discard them.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
No matter what you wear, be it stylish or just moderate, some people may consider you outdated and conservative just because you are wearing the hijab. Some people are simply oppressive. They love to be judgmental. They don’t respect the decision you made for yourself, so they don’t respect you as human being. So just screw them. Ignore what they think about you.
I understand the argument about how Islam degrading women through some issues, including the hijab issue. The biggest claim is Islam degrades women by putting such criteria to what a muslim woman should wear and that has signified to oppressing the muslim women.
But people, isn’t it an irony to rather claim that it is liberating to judge a woman by the size of her bust or length of her legs?
And what kind of liberty that endorse sexual temptation upon women, especially when it is used for commercial purposes?
You are beautiful sister (remember you were a model?). Being beautiful doesn’t mean you have to reveal your skin, or wear sexy clothes. I always believe in true beauty, which comes from our inner selves. Beauty is a kind of radiance. It is the inner beauty that brightens your eyes, sweetens your smile and unleashes your personality.
Anyhow sis, there is a possibility that people around you are afraid of your change, thus they become quite dubious. Perhaps they need time to accept the new you. Just give them as much time as they need. Meanwhile, it’s good if you could prove to them that you are just the same old Melinda, except for you are now even better than before.
Keep on your prayers to The Almighty Allah. He’s the best we can go to especially when we are in need of a company. He’s the best listener. Keeping close to Allah will help you achieve serenity, and by Allah will you’ll gain confidence in your decision. Also, pray to Allah that your friends will eventually accept you.
It is also important for you to get involve with other muslim woman societies, especially those whom are in the same shoes with you. Getting around with good and supportive friends helps to strengthen yourself too. Don’t worry sis, we Muslims are one family. You can connect to other sisters and share your stories or problems across the country. And I’m always here for you, will try to help you as much as I can. My prayers are always with you.
Hope my answer could help you in some ways. I wish you all the best and May Allah bless us, and guide ourselves in pacing our lives.
*photos are from muslimmatters.org